The Art of Opening Up

I've never been good opening up or being put on the spot about my life or my feelings. I mean, even with this blog it's been a struggle and only strangers read this. I guess I never fully got into my own head. I know it's good to eat healthy and I know it's bad to do drugs.  I got that, but I never really went any further.
I'm not super good at making friends or being that person that someone meets for the first time and they just love me. I'm usually the one it takes a while to get to love. Or get to know good enough to even decide if I am worth loving. I usually have a lot to say, but never say it out loud. I see more that I let on ,and I know way more than you think.
Being married has had a positive affect on me. I have to be open with my husband. He knows me so well. Most of the time he has to pry, but I know that with him everything is safe. I am safe. And that's a new place and a great place for me to be. I haven't had too may safe places to hide in people. The fact that I'm actually letting people read my writing is almost like standing naked on a street corner. It's terrifying, but it's freeing. I think I'm doing pretty good at this opening up thing. Maybe. I don't know. Haha.
Here's some random writings on opening up. Enjoy this day.




You're welcome
so many people have told me
that i need to open up
but not a single person
understands that every time
i pry apart my rib cage
releasing all of the butterflies
that they have been hiding there
for years
people are too busy swatting
them away
to realize what i have done
for them.

Opening up

i said,

"i want to jump out of a plane

or off a cliff or maybe

 the edge of the earth.

i want to close my eyes

and step into traffic

or the ocean or maybe

the bed of a stranger"

she said,

"if you're looking to do

something that terrifies you,

why don't you just

open up?"